FMB

We all know what FML stands for on the interwebs, but in this case, switch "blog" for "life".

Today I realized that since Houston Roller Derby went live with their new site, all my links to the old site are toast. Love the new site, ladies, but boohoohoo for me.

Anybody have a stash of all the 2006 to 2008 bout posters? Elle McFierce, I'm talking to you.

It's That Time of the Month Again

Tomorrow, I'm making the four hour trek to put my health and sanity on the line once again. This time I'm reeeaaaally looking forward to it...I've had a hell of a week.

























Fate put a motivator right smack dab in the middle of it. Instead of the annual Corral Club Halloween Party, this year my rodeo committee is throwing a luau. If you reeeaaaally know me, then you will put two and two together before I can explain and figure out this means I'm getting serious about getting fit because on October 1 I will be wearing a coconut bra in public. Oh yes, I'm serious. ...DUH DUH DUHN...

This Week in Non-Sanctioned Derby

I think this is the first time I've seen a bout poster since I started skating with Crude City. Once again, I know it's hard to understand, but I don't live in Corpus; therefore, I'm a little out of touch with what's going on with the league. That being said, I have this Saturday's poster, so I can shamelessly plug for a change...



If you were planning on a road trip this weekend, why not stop by and say hi?

Summer Slaughter

So last month, I forgot to hang the bout poster up here in Catazonia, and we had one of the lowest attended bouts ever. Is there some correlation? I seriously doubt it, but just in case...this month, you get three for the price of one.



OK, OK...two posters, but three bouts!!! Is that directly correlating to your excitement level?



By the time HaRD Knocks plays that third advertised bout, next month's bout poster should be hanging here. You might be thinking to yourself that HRD is derbying this summer up but good. That's right...plenty of opportunities to come see me. I really miss you, but I hope to be sick of you by August.

April Annihilation

I almost forgot to post April's bout flyer, but then again, we (HRD) almost forgot to print them. Drama, drama, nobody wants to hear the derby drama. I have a feeling the bruised but brazen Brawlers will make a beautiful showing this bout. Have I ever mentioned how much I adore alliteration?



I started to post about how much more I love NASCAR now that I have actually been to a race, but that will have to wait (until I find my USB cable, not because the flyer is that much more important).

March Masquerade

Another Houston Roller Derby season, another year full of bout posters...



Our opening bout this year should be interesting. I'm waiting to see if my hearing will be restored by then, even though the doctors don't know why I have significant hearing loss. Seems like the infections that were so obvious a couple of weeks ago have now subsided and left this nagging pressure behind. It's really there, people! I'm not making this up. Believe me, I'm not enjoying meeting my $400 insurance deductible in one month. Also, it's hard to skate in a pack when you can't hear properly. Now I realize those eyes in the back of my head were actually my ears. It should be fairly easy to take me out if I can't hear you coming, and I've been confirming that in the last couple of practices. Ouch.

Another interesting side note to this bout is Hannah Montana's performance at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo on the same day. I think the similarities in both our audiences might surprise some people. In other words, her sold out show should affect our attendance. Prove me wrong, and buy a ticket to March Masquerade online!

Bad Omen for Traveling

I haven't been very nervous about traveling to Colorado for bouts on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon...

Until I woke up this morning underwater. Antibiotics start working in two days, right? Because I think my eardrums might shatter if I have to get on a plane with them feeling like they do right now.

A New Year of Derby

Christmas isn't even over, and advertising has already begun for the 2008 derby season. HRD's all-star travel team is going to Colorado in early February, and we can't do that without money. One of our favorite ways to raise funds is acting like fools singing karaoke.

Two derbyokes ago, I did the L'il Kim part on Lady Marmalade. That alone should have won the Brawlers first place...we were robbed. Suggestions for how I can top that performance are being taken, or just show up and pay for me to do it kamikaze style...you know, where you pick the song and I have to sing it. I figured it might be helpful to clarify that.

Oktoberdramafest

Buy your tickets! This upcoming bout has already been shrouded in controversy and characterized by numerous ups and downs in team welfare. I can't wait to see the drama the actual day of the bout.



My head got cut off on the back of the flier, so naturally, I was once again inspired:

What Are You Waiting For?

If you have been waiting to attend the perfect bout here in Houston, you have no excuse now. The best skaters of Houston Roller Derby will be taking on the best skaters from four other Texas leagues right here at the Verizon Wireless Theater. This is it, and I'm getting another shot at it, too.



If you already know what it's all about and you can't wait to see us, swing by the West Alabama Ice House this Saturday for a derby-style luau. Remember...HRD is mostly kid-friendly, and Catazon will be there with The Kitten for the early shifts.

August Assault

Just got the message that we need to promote...promote...promote so we can sell...sell...sell some tickets and realized that I had not posted this month's flyer yet.



I am so ready for this bout to be over, because that means I will only have five more days until Margaritaville.

We Got Your Fireworks Right Here!

It's been 11 months since I skated as a Brawler. All of our rookies say they are so excited to finally get to skate with me, but I think they are just tired of me yelling at them on the sidelines. You can never be sure what will happen with Catazon back on the rink, and the Bettie/Boss match-up is going to be explosive. Two more weeks...buy your tickets online.

Miss Me--ow?

I know I've procrastinated posting June's bout poster, but I had doubts that it would really happen. I thought last week that everyone on the HaRD Knocks was going to kill each other, because there are 20 of us on the team and only 14 can skate for a single bout. You can see how ugliness tends to surround the announcement of the bout day roster. I'm pretty sure I'm still on that roster, even though people have complained about my inclusion, and I sat through scrimmaging yesterday. I'm sure they're thinking Catazon doesn't need the practice anyway...she'll pick up right where she left off TEN MONTHS AGO! Bring Dad out, because this should be the most entertaining bout yet this season.



Shout out to Brat Poison, a very talented teammate, who designed this month's poster.

We're Having a Party

The Burlesque Brawlers are trying to raise some money to cover uniform expenses, practice fees, and all those other things that add up to a bunch of broke derby girls. You might be thinking...well, they can make lots of money if they try to live up to their name...sorry, but there ain't gonna be no pole dancing or mud wrestling involved.

Mayhem!

Ah, May...

the sooner you get going, the sooner I can start hitting people again...

there are many who will testify that is when true mayhem will begin.



Watch out...

I plan on skating the Art Car Parade on May 12th...

but I won't be ready for the May bout.

Shotgun!

I was waiting until some artwork was out there before I wrote about Houston Roller Derby's HaRD Knocks (travel team) May 6th bout against TXRG's Hotrod Honeys. What can I say...I like visually stimulating posts. Blog posts...get your minds out of the gutter, or just thank me for taking you there and move along.

(and Austin moves their stuff around so now the artwork is gone...)

I will be serving my travel team as bench manager. Yay, more fun calling lineups! I guarantee the road trip is worth it, even if Catazon is not skating.

Spring Fling

Yay! Spring is here, which means my favorite season is just around the corner. First, I have to get through a couple of months of NOT flinging anyone around the rink, including our second bout of the 2007 season.



I really wanted to fling the Betties around, so hopefully we will meet them again before the season is over. The anticipation alone makes for a perfect summer.

Before I am Consumed by March,

I must post the facts on the first bout of the 2007 season. That way, I will have a post to link to for my 2007 season page that will eventually resemble my 2006 season page.



If you check the HRD website, you will notice that Catazon is not listed on either of the veteran teams. Don't fret. Well, just a tad, because I won't be there at all due to my rodeo commitments. Just wait till April when you get to watch me take on the refs as acting captain of the Brawlers.

There's an Award Show for EVERYTHING!

This is where I'll be Saturday night:



Do you think I should prepare a speech?

Southern Brawl

I haven't been talking about it much, because the jealousy over some of my favorite people getting another chance to skate an interleague bout is consuming me...AND I CAN'T EVEN WALK!!! Still, the excitement is building, though that may be mostly due to my indecision over what to wear.