Merry Christmas!

Photo by SmoPho on Flickr.

That is if your version of a merry Christmas starts with an elbow in your crotch.

I tried to find a more flattering picture of myself from the San Antonio Roller Derby mashup bout I skated in last Sunday, but the only thing I found was that I need to lose about 30 pounds before March.  Boobies!

So Merry Christmas, indeed!

Summer is Over (in my book)

The Summer of 2011 was hell...absolute, energy-draining, soul-sucking hell. Not only because of the things everyone knows about...record-breaking heat, drought and wildfires in the wonderful state I call home...but also because of a ton of personal burdens. Today, after I completely get the Summer of 2011 off my chest, I'm walking away from it for good.

This summer started out with The Kitten attending a new daycare...for one whole week. She hated it and cried herself to sleep every single night she knew she had to go back there in the morning. Since she was traumatized and refused to try another daycare, we catered to her spoiled rottenness the rest of the summer by driving her to whatever extended family member she wished to grace with her presence or bribing her cousins to come to us. At least one of us had a great summer! I don't know of anything stronger than your worry for your child(ren) that can drag you down to a dark, dark place. Unless you have a demanding job too...

So during all that scrambling for babysitters and driving all over the northwest side of Houston, I was also dealing with work. You might recall a while ago I started talking about this big strategic project to which my very cool boss was reassigned and I would be backfilling for her in the meantime, but then as the project moved through its phases, we discovered the entire company would be reorganized and I started tweeting about how I wasn't going to have the same job (my original Business Analyst job) at the end of the six-month project. No? Well, that's your background, and all you really need to know is all that waiting and worrying over the summer came to a head when the available jobs were posted last week. I've narrowed down my five choices (although I know they will most likely place me in the job that most closely resembles the one I hold now and don't want), and now my fate is in somebody else's hands. Of course, I won't know that fate until the end of October, but like I said, I'm walking away. Letting it go, and hoping my company doesn't let me go.

Now the summer wasn't all bad. We had an awesome trip to Disney World the beginning of June. I skated in not only one but two banked track bouts. I spent a weekend with a friend I had not seen since high school. And today...today, I finally found the motivation I need to move to a better place. I start rehearsing with the rodeo choir on September 26th, and our first performance is October 15th. I bet you didn't know that Catazon was a good enough singer to try out for a choir that performs in front of, oh, a few thousand people for three weeks out of the year and actually MAKE IT! Well, you oughta know.

Summer of 2011...you can kiss my karaoke-ing ass.

A Well-Rounded Derby Girl

This morning, the knot that is still on my lower right leg almost two weeks after my first banked-track bout reminded me that I haven't shared my latest adventure in my derby life with my neglected blog. Today, I have absolutely no work to do and, since I'm losing my current job in the near future, no motivation to make up work to do. So here's the story about how a well-rounded woman became a well-rounded derby girl.

A couple of weeks ago, South Side Roller Derby began looking for skaters, flat-track or banked-track, to participate in an impromptu bout in an effort to keep from losing their venue. Even though I'm extremely out of shape and not getting any younger, I still try to maintain my free agent status by making a showing in any pick-up bout within a 300 mile radius, so naturally I jumped at the chance to try the real thing. I mean, what else put the dream in my heart if it wasn't old-school, no-holds-barred, banked-track roller derby? How could I pass this up?

South Side welcomed me and one other flat-tracker with open arms. I had made the hour-long drive from my north-side house to the south-side track several months ago for an open practice, and the two of us were there early before the bout to keep from embarrassing ourselves in public. Still I knew this wasn't going to be pretty; I really had no idea how different it was until the first whistle blew. My husband took a couple of pictures on his phone before the game started and I lost any shred of remaining innocence. (If you have half a brain, you can figure out a Catazon literally stands head and shoulders above the rest of the girls.) I haven't been able to find any others, but that might be a good thing, as you will see...

The first half was pretty much a waste for me. I had one good jam where I was able to impede the jammer for at least half the distance of the track if not more, but other than that, I could not get the hang of the angles and the acceleration factors. They put me the jammer star on me close to the end of the half, and I kept getting swallowed up by the pack every time I thought I was out. Damn those angles.

The second half, I was in every pack with one of my team's best skaters, Mojo, and she took me under her wing. We lined up next to each other in every jam, and she encouraged me to do the things I wasn't used to doing after playing by stringent flat-track rules for five years, such as swimming through the pack. I was starting to get pretty good at that, until I tried to take out a pole after getting a hip check to the inside. That speed you pick up going to the inside of the track is such a rush! The knot on my leg happened in the second half also, because I ended up on the floor or on top of other skaters much more than in the first half when I was skating too tentatively. Hey, I could get used to this!

In the end, the pink team was victorious, with or without my bumbling assistance. South Side is having another pick-up bout this Saturday, but my family is trying to make a July 4th tradition with friends at a Galveston beach house (two years in a row is not a tradition yet, but we'll go for more if possible). I highly recommend trying the banked track if you are a skilled flat-tracker. I know "I'll be back" if they'll have me.

Another Month in the Life...

This big cat is pretty busy right now and having a hard time keeping all my balls of yarn in the air, so I thought it might help to write it all down.

Sometime this week, I will celebrate forty-one fun-filled years upon this whirling dervish we call Earth. I shouldn’t say sometime; I really mean most of the time…family dinner Thursday; Ty Herndon concert Friday; a friend’s 40^th birthday party Saturday. Put that together with Easter weekend, and it’s going to be hard to get out of bed next Monday.  Good thing I dyed those eggs yesterday.

For years derby ruled my life, but a couple of weeks ago, I squeaked a few hours of derby into real life by playing in the Clutch City mashup bout the same weekend my husband had shoulder surgery.  By the time of the bout, I was ready to get out of the house; I had a great time without have to break too much of a sweat; and he pulled out his pain pump all by himself while I was gone. So a win-win-win for everyone, including my team!

When we bought our beautiful new touchscreen all-in-one computer in February, I committed to finally getting rid of all our music CDs so I could have more storage room for our DVDs. (Now I wonder what’s going to replace the DVDs in a few years?) With that project wrapping up, I pulled out a drawer in my bedroom and realized I have about ten of my favorite movies and about twenty more that I bought to make my husband happy still on VHS! It looks like I’m going to move my VCR to the home office and hook it up to the beautiful computer permanently so I can get rid of those useless pieces of plastic before nobody will take them for donations anymore.  I’m pretty much in a downsizing phase all around, including my body, once again.

Today, I’m committing to Operation Look Good in Shorts at Disneyworld.  While it might have to wait till next Monday to get the full treatment with my busy birthday week looming, today I started counting my calories and walked the downtown tunnels for an afternoon break.  We have forty-three days until the big family vacation. I don’t care if I lose any weight by then; I just don’t want my legs to rub together during all that walking.

So that’s what part of April and most of May will look like for the big cat.  Of course, I didn’t even mention that another year of elementary school for The Kitten is coming to an end, and with that, field days, piano recitals, and all the other fun stuff she is overlooking because she can only think about getting to summer.  If I make to summer without hurting myself that is…

Blood & Thunder

Blood&ThunderFeb2011ZK005 a photo by Zeeev on Flickr.

My current league, Crude City Roller Derby, hosted a Blood & Thunder Training Camp the last weekend of February. Tryouts for a Roller Derby World Cup team that will compete in December 2011 were held during the camp. This shot was taken during tryouts.

After the hour and a half tryout, when we were offered the chance to verbally promote ourselves on video, all I could say was, "I wish you would have done this when I was 35."

FMB

We all know what FML stands for on the interwebs, but in this case, switch "blog" for "life".

Today I realized that since Houston Roller Derby went live with their new site, all my links to the old site are toast. Love the new site, ladies, but boohoohoo for me.

Anybody have a stash of all the 2006 to 2008 bout posters? Elle McFierce, I'm talking to you.

This Bout Recap is All Linky-Linky Like

Why should I write a recap when somebody's already done the play-by-play for me (and says my name many, many, like 60, times)?  Me likey linky.

And why should I post photos when there are a couple of sets out there with tons of lovely photos (of me); in one set we are introduced to a new guy who followed Acadiana down for the bout and took some excellent shots and in another we see the magnificent work of a photographer who I linked to in the last bout recap. More linkys me likey.

But I guess I could leave you with one of my favorites; a favorite for the simple fact that sometimes people will try anything to take me down, but they can never take me down as much as I can myself.

Please Pardon the Interruption...

As previously explained, I took a brief break from reality this past weekend. I claimed to be "helping out" my Brawlers as they played one of the best roller derby teams in Texas. Once I saw the proof of it, I realized what I really did was stand around and make funny faces as well as be distracted by my reality. Yes, I'm waving to The Kitten, and yes, there seem to be a million pics of me standing around. Sometimes I prayed (see the blurry score behind me..the number not in double digits is ours). Sometimes I did look a bit like my old self (you can see my butt that sent that jammer flying). Mostly I had fun even though I felt (and still feel) pain.

I was reminded of some of the reasons I quit. My husband having to drag my daughter away from me, kicking and screaming because she wanted to stay and have fun. Being put in the penalty box for two things that I know I didn't do and not even getting a minor for blatantly (although not purposely) tripping the jammer. (Don't get me wrong on this...I respect the refs, but I think we've made their job next to impossible.) Knowing that no matter how hard I try, it's not going to be enough for somebody, anybody.

What really brought me back to reality though is seeing for sure that all the weight I lost while on the cardio program is back. I can't wait to get in that leopard-print tankini I ordered! Meow!

Feels Like Caturday...

Working at home on a Friday feels like Caturday to me, especially when I come across gems such as this:


"Cats have 26 different forms of facial expressions...23 of which are negative and scary." Especially when they are Catazon expressions.

Yikes! Skate, Chainsaw, skate!

Am I Right, or Am I Right?

I still may have overreacted, but still...


Oh, and it doesn't stop there...


At that point, it looks like I warned her, but then on second thought, here comes those free lessons in destructive criticism...

Happy Posts?

At the end of the highly controversial Brawlers vs. Betties bout last night, Elle McFierce exclaimed over how I would write a happy post today. That was right before I fell over from exhaustion.

It's not like I did anything to become exhausted. Except for one grand slam, an almost inefficient backwards whip given to Audiomind, and a fun little blocker takeout while jamming on Becky Booty, my performance was pretty much dismal. I wasn't expecting it to be much more than that after a couple of weeks of forced inactivity.

I also wasn't expecting the Brawlers to win, but we did. I really shouldn't admit that I don't have a lot of faith in my home team, but we all remember the tough year the Brawlers went through in 2007. 2008 was starting to look almost identical, but now we've won a game somewhat early in the season. I'm positive we can take another one if we all get and stay healthy. I still heart my Brawlers, even though the rest of my body is consumed with HaRD Knocks.

So I'm feeling alright today, even though I could barely walk last night. Then I get the bad news that I won't get a job interview I was pretty sure I would nail. That just boggles my mind, because I look great on paper, and I'm even better in person when I really, really want the job (and who wouldn't really, really want a job at a prestigious private school?). Damn. So I keep reminding myself it's probably better that I don't take a new job while my personal life is so stressful, even though I do have an interview with a major player in the oil & gas industry in a couple of weeks. Sweet.

Yeah, Elle, this post was a little bit happy, but a little bit bummed, too. I seriously need to get out of this funk before the summer gets outrageously busy with bouts, bouts, and more bouts on top of my obsession with finding the perfect job as well as getting a big girl ready for kindergarten. Oh, happy posts!

Boom! Goes the Catazon

Catazon Hits Rebel Ann

Originally uploaded by Zeeev.

No Bosse$ were harmed in the making of this photo. In fact, the Boss on her way to the floor claims that this was her favorite moment of the bout.

Ziv! This is one of the most beautiful derby pics I have ever seen, and not just because I'm in it.

We've Got Talent

HaRD Knocks has talent on and off the rink. Shout-out to my teammate, Dementia, for our most recent team photo. Is this awesome or what?

Rocky Mountain High (and Low)

I skated in my very first away bout this Saturday and also dealt with the added pressure of captaining a team of all-stars. Not to mention the pressure in my ears from a lingering infection mixed with the altitude. Sound like a fun-filled weekend?
Pffft.

Our expectations were high coming into it. HaRD Knocks is an extremely talented team filled with the leading blockers and scorers from HRD. In the WFTDA-sanctioned bout against the Pikes Peak Derby Dames, we were up against a team with no previous interleague wins. HaRD Knocks has a few under our belt, so we felt strong. We believed we were more evenly matched with the team we scrimmaged against on Sunday, the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls. Boy, were we wrong.

I haven't felt very secure in my beliefs or my skills since halftime of the Pikes Peak bout. We were up by 20 and thought we were overcoming the difficulties of an old, slick skating surface, a crowd cheering like crazy for their home team, and a mostly inexperienced group of referees. Then we managed to score in only 5 out of 17 jams in the second half and ended up losing by 20. It actually should have been a closer gap, but the celebration had already started when we were scoring some points on the final jam. Please pardon my pettiness.

Sunday was even worse, performance-wise. We didn't wake up until the second half, and by then, the damage was done. Once we realized that it would be almost impossible to make up the deficit, it seemed like the pressure was off and we skated like I knew we could. Even though we lost by almost 40 points, it felt much closer and friendlier.

HaRD Knocks is still looking forward to a great season. We have a tough practice schedule before our next bout(s) in May. Even people we don't know think we have a chance.

Weather? What Weather?

Houston Roller Derby at the MLK Parade 2008

Originally uploaded by Catazon.

Hmmm...where would I rather be? On the phone with other disgruntled library directors or on the cold, wet streets of Houston with a few of my leaguemates?

Yep, you got it! I hate my job more than I hate Winter.

What Does Burlesque Mean to You?

If you said half-clothed women, you get a cookie. I'll probably eat if before I see you, but it's the thought that counts, right? At least we are thinking. Others who didn't realize that the Burlesque Brawlers might be running around half-clothed for their photo shoot this weekend...well, what can I say? I guess not very many can say they've been (figuratively) kicked out of a professional athlete's home for being provocative.

Don't worry. This season's sexy Brawler shots will be up on the website soon.

Oktoberdramafest

Buy your tickets! This upcoming bout has already been shrouded in controversy and characterized by numerous ups and downs in team welfare. I can't wait to see the drama the actual day of the bout.



My head got cut off on the back of the flier, so naturally, I was once again inspired:

Tequila!

Catazon aka Pee-Wee

Originally uploaded by Insanity Labs.

Working on Caturday

So what should I do instead of work? Post some fucking cats!

Except for maybe, instead of cats, I can post myself in honor of the Brawlers bout against the Sirens tomorrow. LolDerby!



Thanks, LolCat Buildr!

Hello Kitty!

I had a great time at the art car parade last Saturday, even though nothing fell out of my top.



Originally uploaded by HRD Art.


My favorite Houston band was there, too. I've known the Romeo Dogs for years.