Another Month in the Life...

This big cat is pretty busy right now and having a hard time keeping all my balls of yarn in the air, so I thought it might help to write it all down.

Sometime this week, I will celebrate forty-one fun-filled years upon this whirling dervish we call Earth. I shouldn’t say sometime; I really mean most of the time…family dinner Thursday; Ty Herndon concert Friday; a friend’s 40^th birthday party Saturday. Put that together with Easter weekend, and it’s going to be hard to get out of bed next Monday.  Good thing I dyed those eggs yesterday.

For years derby ruled my life, but a couple of weeks ago, I squeaked a few hours of derby into real life by playing in the Clutch City mashup bout the same weekend my husband had shoulder surgery.  By the time of the bout, I was ready to get out of the house; I had a great time without have to break too much of a sweat; and he pulled out his pain pump all by himself while I was gone. So a win-win-win for everyone, including my team!

When we bought our beautiful new touchscreen all-in-one computer in February, I committed to finally getting rid of all our music CDs so I could have more storage room for our DVDs. (Now I wonder what’s going to replace the DVDs in a few years?) With that project wrapping up, I pulled out a drawer in my bedroom and realized I have about ten of my favorite movies and about twenty more that I bought to make my husband happy still on VHS! It looks like I’m going to move my VCR to the home office and hook it up to the beautiful computer permanently so I can get rid of those useless pieces of plastic before nobody will take them for donations anymore.  I’m pretty much in a downsizing phase all around, including my body, once again.

Today, I’m committing to Operation Look Good in Shorts at Disneyworld.  While it might have to wait till next Monday to get the full treatment with my busy birthday week looming, today I started counting my calories and walked the downtown tunnels for an afternoon break.  We have forty-three days until the big family vacation. I don’t care if I lose any weight by then; I just don’t want my legs to rub together during all that walking.

So that’s what part of April and most of May will look like for the big cat.  Of course, I didn’t even mention that another year of elementary school for The Kitten is coming to an end, and with that, field days, piano recitals, and all the other fun stuff she is overlooking because she can only think about getting to summer.  If I make to summer without hurting myself that is…

Blood & Thunder

Blood&ThunderFeb2011ZK005 a photo by Zeeev on Flickr.

My current league, Crude City Roller Derby, hosted a Blood & Thunder Training Camp the last weekend of February. Tryouts for a Roller Derby World Cup team that will compete in December 2011 were held during the camp. This shot was taken during tryouts.

After the hour and a half tryout, when we were offered the chance to verbally promote ourselves on video, all I could say was, "I wish you would have done this when I was 35."

Diversionary Tactics

Last night, my family shared a very strange dinner. Since I had a meeting with Asia Pac at 8:30 p.m. and I usually don't get home until after 6:30 p.m., we had to find something quick to eat, especially after The Kitten threw a 15-minute fit because we weren't going to "Old Mcdonald's" or Willie's. We had decided on Mexican, and even though I don't like it, we went to the closest establishment of this type to our house.

First, we had to make somebody come take our order, and then he came back five minutes later and took it again. Not a good sign, but everything came out ok. I was almost done with my enchiladas when I saw something move in the corner of my eye, and before I could get my camera out to take a picture of the roach walking across the wall, the waiter came up and squashed it with a napkin. Okaaaay. You would have thought he could have comped our food for that, but no. While we were waiting an eternity for the check, I started hearing something that sounded like a real kitten. I kept looking around, but nobody else seemed to notice, and although my husband admitted to hearing the sound, he thought I was crazy for caring. Hello, I just shared dinner with a roach, and there is a kitten somewhere in this restaurant! Yeah, I'm crazy.

So, we never figured out where the kitten was, and we paid way too much for nausea from the unwanted dinner guests, but really I just told this story to take some of the spotlight off this interview I gave to a derby fan who posted today. Man, I'm good.

My Very Own Derby Revolution

Crude City Roller Derby's last home bout of the 2010 season has been cancelled.  The team we were scheduled to play is having issues, reorganizing, or something of the like that befalls most fledging derby leagues, and we couldn't scrounge up enough girls to get a mixed scrimmage going.  Bummer.

So that brings me around to some thoughts I've had since My Day One in derby...why can't derby actually be a sport?  When I say sport, I mean a game that has been organized, specifically with a defined season and predetermined competitors.  (I'm not even going to get into rules here; that is a can of worms I will never open.)  Yes, WFTDA has done a fine job of organizing and defining on a very high level with regional tournaments leading up to a national tournament and the member leagues that have the opportunity to compete at these tournaments, but something is missing.  The ranking system that precedes these tournaments is completely arbitrary (with not all the teams ever having played each other, or even half of the teams ahead of them in the rankings). You might be a team in the Eastern Region that can kick everybody's ass in the South Central, but for some reason, you don't even make it to the national tournament. (And I know that can happen in any sport, but it's more apt to happen when there is no cross-regional competition outside of a tournament.)  I can ramble on and on and never make any sense about this, and hell, maybe nobody will ever make any sense about derby as a sport, but I've got to get my idea out of my head.

There are many, many derby leagues that will never be able to compete in WFTDA as it now stands, my current league being one of them.  I really don't want to have to worry if I'm actually going to get to skate in a bout once a month; hell, I would love to bout every freaking weekend (believe me, it is much easier on your body than putting it through four grueling practices a week).  What I want is a set schedule that comes out at the beginning of the season and sets my team and any other team on the schedule up for having a win-loss record that will determine standings going into playoffs.  To make this happen, maybe we need to start thinking small.  Maybe all these Texas teams that either aren't in WFTDA or will never make it to a regional tournament can organize a season?  Crude (Corpus) has played teams from Central Texas, Amarillo, East Texas, even one from Louisiana, this year.  Why not get all these teams and anybody we missed and say, "Hey, could we all decide to play each other twice this year, one home and one away, and then have a playoff tournament in October/November where we all get together and compete for FLAT-TRACK ROLLER DERBY CHAMPION OF TEXAS/LOUISIANA."?  Sounds like a great idea to me.  Would anybody else out there want to get behind an idea like that, where you could actually identify as a fan to your city's roller derby team and want them to knock the socks off that other city you hate?

Well, I could certainly relate to that and feel like I'm actually playing a sport again, just like I did when I played basketball in college or women's professional football or even when I went down to the sand volleyball courts for some co-ed action and we beat every other team in our league over a six-week period to win a shirt and some free beer.  Maybe I should just quit there, keep living in the glory days, and just be thankful I have the opportunities I do.  Nah, I'm going to keep thinking about how to make the flat-track revolution actually happen.

This Bout Recap is All Linky-Linky Like

Why should I write a recap when somebody's already done the play-by-play for me (and says my name many, many, like 60, times)?  Me likey linky.

And why should I post photos when there are a couple of sets out there with tons of lovely photos (of me); in one set we are introduced to a new guy who followed Acadiana down for the bout and took some excellent shots and in another we see the magnificent work of a photographer who I linked to in the last bout recap. More linkys me likey.

But I guess I could leave you with one of my favorites; a favorite for the simple fact that sometimes people will try anything to take me down, but they can never take me down as much as I can myself.

Friends with Skating Benefits

You would have thought I'd rush right out and post all the good news from last Saturday's bout, right? Well, better late than never.



My 25-point jam was described as "the biggest jam of the night." Woohoo! (That's not a picture of the jam above, but that one was fun too!)



This is also a favorite pic...besides the fact that my right ass-cheek looks awesome, I'm skating next to an old derby friend, Crash McQueen of the East Texas Bombers. I really wish I could have made it to the afterparty to spend some quality time with her. And when I put Crash in the same sentence with quality and afterparty, you should know what I mean.

Crude City won by a blowout, but it was a fun bout between two leagues who respect each other. Wish they could all be like that.

This Week in Non-Sanctioned Derby

I think this is the first time I've seen a bout poster since I started skating with Crude City. Once again, I know it's hard to understand, but I don't live in Corpus; therefore, I'm a little out of touch with what's going on with the league. That being said, I have this Saturday's poster, so I can shamelessly plug for a change...



If you were planning on a road trip this weekend, why not stop by and say hi?

Never Mind

Remember last week when I was all excited about my most recent bout? Yeah, never mind.

I skated in about five jams before I was ejected. Yep, that's me...the low block. That low block was actually a swift kick to a skate. Just what you'd expect from a mature, experienced skater.

Instead of going into the history of me and my former league (which is already documented here), I'm going to delve into the ancient history of me and my uncontrolled emotions. It all started when I was called into the office in fifth grade for laughing at a classmate during a school program. Yes, my class was on stage in front of the entire student body and parents, and I laughed out loud when somebody forgot their lines. Mostly because I knew everybody's lines. I was a smartass punk when I was ten. Anyway, our principal caught me afterwards, told me to come see him in the morning, and spent what seemed like an eternity explaining how I should learn to control my emotions. Either that was too much for a fifth-grader to comprehend or I've spent the past thirty years rebelling against that first trip to the principal's office.

In high school, my emotions often got the better of me on the basketball court. I can't tell you the number of times I was ejected from games from technical fouls. I remember most clearly throwing the ball directly into the stomach of an opponent because I was tired of her rubbing her flab all over me. I mean, really, that's just disgusting. When you enter my egotistical world in such a fashion, you get what you deserve.

Surprisingly, there weren't any outbursts during my tackle football stint. Maybe I didn't feel as noticable. I wasn't the smartest or the fastest or the best rebounder or the best blocker. I didn't stand a foot taller than everyone, for the most part. When I go unnoticed, it's easy for me to stay that way. When I stand out like a sore thumb, it gets a little dicey.

So as you can imagine, my derby career has been one lesson after another in controlling my emotions...lessons I usually fail. I don't regret anything, and I don't see any reason to apologize for being myself. I do wish I wouldn't have let my team down, but I have a few more chances to redeem myself this season before I decide to move on yet again. Maybe I was born in the wrong roller derby era, and my heart really belongs to the spectacle it was thirty years ago instead of the sport it's trying to be now. Does anybody know where I can get involved in that? ;) Yeah, never mind.

This is Going to Be Good!

I think this is going to be better than playing HRD in Houston last month.

And now back to my 3-day, all-day meeting that's building up some unspent energy and repressed emotions...

(yeah, I told you it's going to be good...)

Hollywood's Version of Derby

I've been quiet about this foolishness too long. I have to get it off my congested chest. The way flat-track roller derby has climbed onto the coattails of a movie about banked-track roller derby is driving me crazy.

Flat-track skaters sit around bitching and moaning about how flat-track derby is not your momma's roller derby and it's a legitimate "sport" with rules and what-not and blah blah blah. Then we all turn around and kiss Drew Barrymore's ass because she learned how to roller skate and made a movie about it. How about this little gem from one of the "trainers" who explains she couldn't even do a 360 when teaching the movie stars? That's the crap you're telling Hollywood it's ok to spoon-feed us, when you've got derby girls in your own backyard who can do so much more.

I just don't get it. Flat-track puts all these rules in place, practices as much as professional athletes do to set up a grassroots sport, distances itself from the history of banked-track, and lets Hollywood come along with a gimic to put it right back where it started, with a new generation of fans believing roller derby is still the same ol' stuff.

OK, fine...that actually suits my style better. I have nothing against banked-track; in fact, that's what I grew up dreaming of doing. Still would if I had the chance, but life goes on for the common (wo)man and sometimes dreams just aren't a part of it. But I spent three years of my life trying to do something more rewarding, and it's hard to reconcile the two for me. I'm sure it's a great movie, but it's not about what I lived or what thousands of other flat-track skaters are still living. I just wish it was about "modern" roller derby. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who feels this way.

So bring on the hate mail. I can take it. I'm a real derby girl.

The Cat is Back!

That's right! The big purple cat will be making an appearance on the flat track (if I don't kill myself trying to get ready for the bout next weekend). With some skaters out with injuries and some skaters just returning from injuries, my team needs a little bit of help in dealing with a bad-ass team from Austin.

Soooo...if you sat around for three years talking about how you were going to see me skate one of these days, now is your chance...probably your last chance. I can't guarantee it will be pretty, but who really wants derby to be pretty anyway?

If the Shoe Doesn't Fit

The past couple of days I've been noticing my shoes sliding off my heels and my toes digging in to keep me from walking out of them. Is it coincidence that the last time I had skates on was over a month ago? Before that, the last time I went a month without skating was April of 2007 when the hardware was removed from my ankle. I knew my feet were in bad shape from over a year of repetitive stress, but I had no idea they were actually BIGGER! Hmm, should I buy new shoes or go back to destroying my body? ...Yay for new shoes!!!

Day of the Dead Can't Come Soon Enough

October has been a CRAZY BUSY month for me.

I began the month by skating in my last derby bout. In the first of three bouts in two days, I was tripped and took it directly on my right knee (the one that already had problems). At least I pushed their jammer all the way to the middle of the infield with three of their blockers on me right before this happened. You can watch the whole bout if you want. Such a shame opponents must resort to cheating to stop me. Still, I can't believe I could get a pad over my knee to skate the other two bouts. Isn't it symbolic, don't you think?



A week or so later, I saw a legend from the front row, thanks to a derby girl who I'm proud to call a friend also. You couldn't ask for a better front (or back, or only two) of your pack. We've been through it all!



Then, I went to the Corral Club Halloween Party, two days before the derby awards party, and wore the same thing to each. Hmm, maybe that's why I went to both alone...it couldn't be because I'm a nasty dancer...no way. (Image is blurred to protect the innocent, or because I had to steal it from Facebook on my BlackBerry...whatever you prefer.)



Last weekend, I acted like a giddy schoolgirl on the front row of another concert, this time with my sister who took some great pictures. I think I'm going to have to fight her for his sweat towel that I practically jumped up on the stage to steal. You can't ignore me, Rick!



And all these things don't even begin to list all the fun I had in October! Tonight, The Kitten will get to show off her costume to the grandparents she invited over for Halloween almost two months ago. Tomorrow, I can start a much more relaxed month. Unless somebody wants to go to the Ren Faire with me?

It's Officially Over

So I went to the 2008 HRD Awards. I got nothing except for somebody making a snarky comment about how I should have shown up as Linus with a dirt cloud around me (a reference to my bad attitude since July from someone who's partly to blame for that perceived bad attitude..."that's bullshit" beotch). And people still wonder why I'm quitting. HA! I thank God every day that I have the balls to stand up and say enough.

I don't think I'd even continue playing derby if someone was paying me, because I'd still have to deal with women with bigger egos than I pretend to have. Scary.

I may have been born to derby, but I've come to realize there are better things in life. :)

Always Look on the Bright Side of Ike

It's been a week since I stated that I was eager to make more hurricane memories, and I can truly say I have been blessed. Good things that came from Ike include:

• My husband now realizes we need to fix the skylights that leaked all over the atrium and that I've been telling him to fix for six years. Maybe he will get it done before the next hurricane.



• I got to see a bout on a Monday night - TXRG vs. Madison - and totally free!



• I spent a whole uninterrupted week with The Kitten - until I dropped her off with Gramma about an hour ago.



• I finally got the new barstools I've been needing for six years (see above...we moved in six years ago!).


• 
  The 2008 Season page was updated to the best of my ability - hadn't done that since the HaRD Knocks season went down the tubes in June.

Yes, it has been a good week because our yard only looked like this...



and we had another little visitor who only stayed for a few minutes...


I'm still using Ike as an excuse to drink heavily, and I just noticed my long, tall vanilla vodka and coke is empty, so I'm sure this post does not make a coherent summary of my awesome week.

I Make Myself Sick

When I think of all the sacrifices I have made for derby in the past three years, my stomach tends to trouble me. Currently, I'm making myself sick by conducting the league's third annual Fan Favorites survey. This year's survey is churning up the bile because I am paying for it out of my own pocket, I am seeing the responses on a daily basis, and I am fielding random complaints. I did all the same things last year, without the major derby burnout I am experiencing this year. I had no idea this silly little popularity contest would have the potential to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. To circumvent, allow me to vent...

To the people who showed up at Verizon at 7:00 pm on Sunday and were not let in: You should thank Verizon that they didn't let you catch the anticlimactic end of a bout you are going to see again in September and you already saw last year (who would have thought that hitting the same girls over and over again would cause burnout?). May I suggest next time (September 14, 2008..hint, hint), you buy a ticket online through the Thursday before the bout?

To the person who dislikes obscene gestures: I did not enjoy the gesturing on Sunday either, although for an entirely different reason. Sometimes sports bring out the best in us; sometimes sports bring out the worst in us; sometimes a lot of things go on behind the scenes that affect us either way. I hope our fans (and our league) can focus on the good things. I'll try to do the same (see, I'm already feeling better from venting).

To the survey takers who have cookies deactivated or deleted: You should make sure your first answers are the ones you truly want, because I delete any responses from duplicate IP addresses. If you are a derby girl, you should be ashamed of voting for yourself or your team as a favorite more than once.

I have so much more I could say, but for now, I've done my derby duty and advertised the survey as well as our next bout. I don't know how much the venting helped, but it might tide me over enough to get through a HaRD Knocks workout in the morning without screaming or crying.

We Won?!?!?

Nice pic, DeMentia!

Nice win, HaRD Knocks!

Be Careful What You Wish...

or if you are me, be careful what you talk about. Before the bout Saturday night, I talked about how I am prone to having accidents at home and how I wanted one of our pets to die. Both of those things happened on Sunday. I broke my right pinkie toe again, and I found the psycho hamster dead in her cage. Spooky.

I don't remember talking about winning the bout, but we did anyway. Yay! Come watch HaRD Knocks win again this Saturday...same Cat time, same Cat channel.

Happy Posts?

At the end of the highly controversial Brawlers vs. Betties bout last night, Elle McFierce exclaimed over how I would write a happy post today. That was right before I fell over from exhaustion.

It's not like I did anything to become exhausted. Except for one grand slam, an almost inefficient backwards whip given to Audiomind, and a fun little blocker takeout while jamming on Becky Booty, my performance was pretty much dismal. I wasn't expecting it to be much more than that after a couple of weeks of forced inactivity.

I also wasn't expecting the Brawlers to win, but we did. I really shouldn't admit that I don't have a lot of faith in my home team, but we all remember the tough year the Brawlers went through in 2007. 2008 was starting to look almost identical, but now we've won a game somewhat early in the season. I'm positive we can take another one if we all get and stay healthy. I still heart my Brawlers, even though the rest of my body is consumed with HaRD Knocks.

So I'm feeling alright today, even though I could barely walk last night. Then I get the bad news that I won't get a job interview I was pretty sure I would nail. That just boggles my mind, because I look great on paper, and I'm even better in person when I really, really want the job (and who wouldn't really, really want a job at a prestigious private school?). Damn. So I keep reminding myself it's probably better that I don't take a new job while my personal life is so stressful, even though I do have an interview with a major player in the oil & gas industry in a couple of weeks. Sweet.

Yeah, Elle, this post was a little bit happy, but a little bit bummed, too. I seriously need to get out of this funk before the summer gets outrageously busy with bouts, bouts, and more bouts on top of my obsession with finding the perfect job as well as getting a big girl ready for kindergarten. Oh, happy posts!

A Good Week Gone Bad

I was having a really good week last week. The library received a ton of donated design books, and I was just having the best time cataloging, processing, and getting them on the shelf. I got to sit down with a couple of fellow derby martyrs and churn out lineups for four games in two days, utilizing all twenty skaters on our roster for the Roll for a Cure tournament in Orange County, California. Most people complain about tasks like cataloging or manipulating lineups, but I love that sort of detail-oriented, mind-numbing work. Then, the shivering started.

Thursday morning, I took some Motrin for the aches and pains I usually have the day after derby practice. Thursday afternoon, I took some more for a slight fever. Early Friday morning, I woke up with a fever of 102. More Motrin, and wow, that stuff works on fever, but what about my legs that won't work right and my brain that feels like it's trying to get loose? The doc sees nothing causing the fever, but take these antibiotics anyway just in case. So the fever is under control, but good Lord, my head! I didn't sleep more than thirty minutes at a time Friday and Saturday night. So Sunday morning, 5am, I can't take it anymore. Time to go to the hospital. I practically have to be carried to keep from passing out, I feel like I'm freezing to death, I have to stop to dry heave, and my head throbs with the sound of a pin that fell next door. Been out of the country? No. Burning when you pee? No. Congestion? None that would cause this! Well, then let's butcher your arm for blood and then pump some morphine and fluids in there. Next we're going to take chest x-rays, a cat scan, and if nothing comes back from those, get ready for that SPINAL TAP! Whee!

After all that, nothing. Nothing! Everything is clear. I still have a headache, although it's not as bad as Sunday morning. I can look back and laugh at the fact that I dry heaved all over the hospital, but the minute I walked out the doors, I puked water all over the bench waiting for my husband to bring the truck around. Nice. I cannot laugh about the fact that every time I am prepared to kick ass across the country as a member of HaRD Knocks, something happens to either prevent me from doing it or seriously hamper me in some way. So maybe I can't skate, but I can be the leader I was chosen to be, and I'm not going to break my promise to take The Kitten to Disneyland. This one will be the bad week gone good.