Another Month in the Life...

This big cat is pretty busy right now and having a hard time keeping all my balls of yarn in the air, so I thought it might help to write it all down.

Sometime this week, I will celebrate forty-one fun-filled years upon this whirling dervish we call Earth. I shouldn’t say sometime; I really mean most of the time…family dinner Thursday; Ty Herndon concert Friday; a friend’s 40^th birthday party Saturday. Put that together with Easter weekend, and it’s going to be hard to get out of bed next Monday.  Good thing I dyed those eggs yesterday.

For years derby ruled my life, but a couple of weeks ago, I squeaked a few hours of derby into real life by playing in the Clutch City mashup bout the same weekend my husband had shoulder surgery.  By the time of the bout, I was ready to get out of the house; I had a great time without have to break too much of a sweat; and he pulled out his pain pump all by himself while I was gone. So a win-win-win for everyone, including my team!

When we bought our beautiful new touchscreen all-in-one computer in February, I committed to finally getting rid of all our music CDs so I could have more storage room for our DVDs. (Now I wonder what’s going to replace the DVDs in a few years?) With that project wrapping up, I pulled out a drawer in my bedroom and realized I have about ten of my favorite movies and about twenty more that I bought to make my husband happy still on VHS! It looks like I’m going to move my VCR to the home office and hook it up to the beautiful computer permanently so I can get rid of those useless pieces of plastic before nobody will take them for donations anymore.  I’m pretty much in a downsizing phase all around, including my body, once again.

Today, I’m committing to Operation Look Good in Shorts at Disneyworld.  While it might have to wait till next Monday to get the full treatment with my busy birthday week looming, today I started counting my calories and walked the downtown tunnels for an afternoon break.  We have forty-three days until the big family vacation. I don’t care if I lose any weight by then; I just don’t want my legs to rub together during all that walking.

So that’s what part of April and most of May will look like for the big cat.  Of course, I didn’t even mention that another year of elementary school for The Kitten is coming to an end, and with that, field days, piano recitals, and all the other fun stuff she is overlooking because she can only think about getting to summer.  If I make to summer without hurting myself that is…

It's That Time of the Month Again

Tomorrow, I'm making the four hour trek to put my health and sanity on the line once again. This time I'm reeeaaaally looking forward to it...I've had a hell of a week.

























Fate put a motivator right smack dab in the middle of it. Instead of the annual Corral Club Halloween Party, this year my rodeo committee is throwing a luau. If you reeeaaaally know me, then you will put two and two together before I can explain and figure out this means I'm getting serious about getting fit because on October 1 I will be wearing a coconut bra in public. Oh yes, I'm serious. ...DUH DUH DUHN...

I Always Bite Off More Than I Can Chew

Hate to admit it, but if you were planning on the return of a leaner, meaner Catazon at the Crude City vs. Bosses bout on May 15th, that ain't gonna happen.

In January, I committed to 60 days of Insanity (you know, that Sean T. Beachbody workout?), so that I could fit in my rodeo jeans. Of course, I didn't do 60 days since rodeo season kicks in around the last week of February, but I got back in the jeans and received a ton of compliments on my semi-rockin' bod. For the past month and a half, I've been trying to get back on my regular Insanity routine, while my body has been slowing moving southward again, and I was almost there when a huge project landed in my lap.

I'm trying to turn this into this before the bout. Throw in a couple of family birthdays, Mother's Day, setting up summer tutoring for The Kitten, and coordinating some home renovations, and when do I have time to workout? Maybe after I get back from my third business trip this year the third week of May?

I think the only opportunity to flex some flab over the next week will be an intro to pole dancing class on Monday, and only because I've already paid my $40.

God Help Me...

People who really know me know that I am the last person to complain or make excuses. So I really don't want to go here, but I'm starting to think that going here might help me like it did before.

Somehow I currently weigh 200 lbs., and I have for the past three weeks. Every time I get on the damn scale, it says the same damn thing...200.6. WTF? How is that possible? I have never weighed the same on a Monday as I did on a Thursday...ever. So what is the deal?

I put on my pants one morning three weeks ago, and they were too tight. The week before the damn pants fit fine, but now suddenly, they don't fit? WTF? I didn't do anything different that past week...didn't start eating a ton of food that's bad for me and didn't stop taking the stairs. How did I gain about ten pounds in one week?

So I start to think, it's bad water weight...it will be gone next week...but three weeks later, it's not gone! WTF? WTF? WTF? I immediately started doing more strenuous workouts in the morning, and you would think something would change, but no. This is just too weird.

In two weeks, I have to go in for my annual exam, and my doctor is going to raise holy hell over my weight. I'm a little bit stressed about that, but I'm not going to change my eating habits over it. I don't eat badly...this is so not fair.

But I guess tomorrow night, I need to avoid drinking the leftover margaritas after I turn in the portion to be judged. I should win something just for exercising restraint.

Summertime!

My plans for the official beginning of the summer season, Memorial Day Weekend:

1. Act a fool at my sister's 3rd Annual Karaoke Birthday Bash on Friday night.
2. Finally get a haircut after at least nine months of hippie hair (can't really remember the last one).
3. Finally buy some new tennies now that the ones I bought on the way to the 2006 HRD championship bout when I could only wear one of them are making a weird clicky noise when I walk the streets at lunchtime.
4. Be jealous of everyone on the river while I play on The Kitten's slip and slide.

I love summertime! I'm sure I'll think of more fun summertime things to do over the next four days, but that's a good start. Who knows...the last three might kill me, or at least just make me die a little bit inside.

I Can Lose Six More Pounds

So I've been off the cardiovascular health thing for over a week now, and I feel really badly for not updating yet. I hit the goal for the program (186 lbs), but my mentor and I talked about how far I really wanted to go. Of course, I really don't care as long as my clothes fit, but I'm pretty sure I can get rid of six more after rodeo is over. Let me somehow just maintain for the next six weeks. Yes, rodeo is a lot of walking, but I always drink enough to counteract that.

I'm actually more curious to see if I've made an impact on my cholesterol. That will also have to wait for rodeo. I know I feel better overall, although that could be because I'm not hanging out with 60 sick women who keep passing their germs around over and over and over again. Blegh. I feel sorry for the friends I still have in there, even though I'm also tsking on the inside.

Anyway...six pounds before summer? Who wants to join me?

Way Too Busy to be Healthy

Ah man, I was supposed to post about week 8 of the health program, but this week is already crazy at work, and I'm still working on the husband's birthday bash, 80's style. All I have to say is the three pairs of pants I bought when I started my new job are too baggy now, and we are consolidating the last four weeks into two. Only two more meetings!

I'm Not Complaining...

So I'm over halfway through with this cardiovascular health kick, except the thing is I'll never be through with it. Yesterday, the food served at the family birthday gathering was fried fish, fried chicken, and tater tots. Blegh. Even before the health kick, I would not let any of these things near my mouth, so lucky for me, there was also a green salad. And get this...the salad bowl was the only thing even close to being empty...and no, it wasn't only me eating it. I was also able to bypass the German chocolate cake...a true feat, because I do love coconut but most likely will never knowingly let that artery-clogging mess into my stomach again. Too sad, but totally worth it...

Meanwhile, my marriage grows slightly weirder with my husband doing the complaining about being fat. He still refuses to listen to me about anything, so he finally outweighs me for realz!!! Woohoo! Ladies, if you get the chance to experience how annoying your significant other can be saying how they need to lose weight but doing nothing about it, you would never complain about how fat you are again.

Catazon's Week 7 of the Cardiovascular Health Program:
Weight = 187.2
Anxiety Level = 5 (I've got no motivation, and I stress about no motivation.)

The Absolute Worst Lineup in Years

It's the second Monday in January, and every year, I look forward to 10 a.m. CST on the second Monday in January. This year was a disappointment, to say the least. What was supposed to be a great year as a rookie captain has turned into this mostly unforgettable work lineup for the 2009 rodeo: Alan Jackson, Trace Adkins, Toby Keith, Clint Black, Darius Rucker, Pat Green, and ZZ Top.

It does get better as the month progresses. I heard Darius was great at the Ten Man Jam, but in the big ol' Reliant Stadium? Nuh-uh. I will never get sick of Pat Green, and ZZ Top is a classic, but overall, pitiful. Thank God I don't have to suffer through Reba McEntire or Brooks & Dunn.

In other news, as I'm sure you are all wondering, I got back on track with the cardio program (still not calling it a diet especially since I'm not losing weight) last week when I met with my mentor for the first time in three weeks. Christmas wasn't too bad, but the week after did some damage. Tamales and Greyhounds...not together...but I'm blaming it on the both of them.

Catazon's Week 6 of the Cardiovascular Health Program:
Weight = 189.4
Anxiety Level = 8 (trying to meet deadlines and the realization that I dug myself into a hole)

Is This Year Over Yet?

It feels like 2008 lasted FOREVER, and I still have a few more hours of work and a couple of days to get through. In 2008, I sent The Kitten to Kindergarten, started a dream job, laid on my deathbed twice, broke my toes three times, derbied across the country until I had to give up for good, and made an effort to eat better so I will never weigh more than 200 pounds (again).

I'm ignoring whatever weight I gained after spending a weekend in the "country"...you remember the country? I had to drink a couple of six packs of Bacardi Mojitos to survive. Nothing my 4:45-in-the-morning, every-other-day-because-it's-so-damn-intense, 30-minute-calisthenic-workout-from-hell can't fix.

I normally don't make resolutions, but one of my friends is so gung-ho about it, she really gets me in the mood. In 2009, I'm going to enjoy the last full year of my thirties by just relaxing because I spent most of the past decade chasing dreams and The Kitten. I'm going to need the rest for my forties if the way I'm only getting better with age is any indication. Also, I think I've worked up the nerve to stop ignoring Twitter. I can look at it one of two ways...either I'm already breaking the relaxing resolution, or I'm going to have plenty of time to play now that I'm relaxing.

This is Getting Old

I am sick and tired of worrying about food, and I'm not even halfway through this health program. I don't even have anything to say about it, except...I have to bake a cake for a friend's birthday party this Friday night, and I am going to lick both the beaters and the bowl completely dry. Ok, maybe The Kitten can have one beater, but she better step on back.

Catazon’s Week 5 of the Cardiovascular Health Program
Weight = 188
Anxiety Level = 2 (This is going to be a long week...waiting for a little nibble of batter.)

The Week That Wasn't

I didn't check in with my mentor on my health program this past week, so it's kinda like it didn't exist. Therefore, I will ignore the fact that I didn't lose any weight, and believe that this week will have better results or at least get me back down to where I was in week two.

It's been five days since my last taste of frosty adult beverage, and I have worked out twice in the past 24 hours. That's a good start. Unfortunately, I have a rodeo meeting (drinks!) on Tuesday, a holiday dinner (drinks!) on Wednesday, a band concert (damn, no drinks!) on Thursday, and a company Christmas party (Yaaay, drinks!) on Saturday. I wish I could live on a liquid diet.

Catazon's Week 4 of the Cardiovascular Health Program
Weight = somewhere around 190 (I think)
Anxiety Level = 8 (...and I think I might be getting a cold.)

I've Got My HoliDAYs All Wrong

I'm not doing that well on the health kick. Sure, I did a great job on the holiDAY and had a wonderful broccoli slaw tossed with cranberries, apples, and a mustard seed vinaigrette instead of sweet potatoes and cheesy casseroles, but I went crazy the day after and drank my own weight in vodka and cider and some hard cream thing that was calling my name. I blame the tipsiness on my inability to keep the enchiladas out of my mouth on the way home from the Renaissance. The weigh-in on Week 4 is not going to be as pretty as Week 3, unless...

I can keep getting up at 4:45 every morning to feel the burn from this awesome calisthenic workout I found. It would be perfect for the last thirty minutes of a derby practice if I was still in charge of making whiny women hate me.

Catazon's Week 3 of the Cardiovascular Health Program
Weight = 188.4
Anxiety Level = 5 (work is crazy this week and may drive me to drinking again!)

It's Only a HoliDAY...

The Cardiovascular Health Program is going strong. I haven't drank a Monster or a Coke (the ones with vanilla vodka don't count) and haven't eaten a whole bag of Flat Earth Farmland Cheddar chips or a whole California Pizza Kitchen margherita pizza in three weeks. You might think I'm withering away, but unfortunately, I'm not. I still haven't gotten off my lazy butt and done something strenuous, besides walking thirty minutes everyday at lunch and taking eight flights of stairs in the parking garage every evening. And my mentor agreed, that's nothing. Gee, thanks.

My mentor did remind me that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just one day. I have to try not to fall completely off the wagon. Thanks again.

Catazon's Week 2 of the Cardiovascular Health Program
Weight = 190.4
Anxiety Level = 5 (sweet potatoes, broccoli cheese casserole, and all kinds of pie, oh my!)

Even Exchange?

You know what is totally unfair? I have high cholesterol because my GOOD cholesterol is off the charts. My bad cholesterol is within desirable limits, but my GOOD cholesterol is so high that the doctors take a look at the overall number and tell me I need to fix it. Now it doesn't seem right to fix what ain't broke, but whatever...I'll do something. Six months ago, when my doctor told me to exercise more, I just laughed. Okaaay. I figured I might should cut out the avocados instead...that should give the GOOD cholesteral a kick in the ass. Then last month, my job tells me I can get $200 off my insurance costs next year if I start a cardio program, and I sign on the dotted line as fast as I can. Besides the fact that I'm only exercising about NEVER now that I quit derby (between a swollen knee and another broken toe, it has been next to impossible), I wouldn't mind getting down to my "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" weight again. That's only a few pounds lighter, so don't feel so bad that I still look so good when overweight.

But...what the hell have I done? Now I really do have to skip the guacamole, for at least twelve weeks. I have to talk to some person once a week about crap like "wellness vision" and affirmations. I have to write down what I eat (wow, my hand is going to hurt) and how often I exercise (does all the writing count as exercise?). I'm so driven to be the best at everything I do that I know it's going to work, but why does it have to be so annoying to be healthy?

Catazon's Week 1 on the Chevron Cardiovascular Health Program
Weight = 193 (I am not ashamed of this at all.)
Total Cholesterol = 243 (Guess we'll see what happens with this in a few months.)
Anxiety Level = 3 (On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm dealing now, but just wait till Christmas.)

Find a Remedy

In 2008, the Brawlers are headed to the bottom of the barrel again. We've already lost to the two best teams in HRD. This Sunday, we were only down by eleven at halftime against the Bosse$, but we let them keep their same scoring pace in the second half while severely hampering our own. I guess by that time I had pretty much given up.

After a couple of jams when I couldn't get out of the pack, I started pointing the finger at my team and screaming about how they needed to step it up. After a couple of more jams that looked exactly the same, I started to turn the finger towards myself. I saw our win slipping further and further out of reach, and the rest of the team seemed to be utterly emotionless about it. I was getting more and more frustrated trying to figure out why.

Ever since I got stuck in a pack during the HaRD Knocks scrimmage against Rocky Mountain in February, I've been complaining about how I'm not the jammer I used to be. I've been making excuses about my worn-out skates, the fifteen pounds I can't lose, and the blocking ability of my team.

Then I saw it. A sign blinked at me from above: "Don't find fault; find a remedy."

Now me, I'm not much for inspirational mumbo-jumbo, but to see that sign the morning after I just lost another bout...hmmm. Maybe I need to quit telling myself and anyone listening that I'm not a jammer anymore and start doing the off-skate workouts I need to get my speed and agility back. Maybe I need to get serious about those fifteen pounds, and quit drinking those damn Cokes every morning and eating that whole bag of Flat Earth chips at one sitting. Maybe I need to make my teammates hit each other over and over and over again until they get as excited as I am.

Maybe one bag of chips a week?

Rodeo Time!

The lineup has been announced, and our meeting is Thursday night (where I will also pick up my badge). Derby is going to help me get back in my Rockies. This will be the best year yet...I AM SO EXCITED...who's ready to party with me???