A Well-Rounded Derby Girl

This morning, the knot that is still on my lower right leg almost two weeks after my first banked-track bout reminded me that I haven't shared my latest adventure in my derby life with my neglected blog. Today, I have absolutely no work to do and, since I'm losing my current job in the near future, no motivation to make up work to do. So here's the story about how a well-rounded woman became a well-rounded derby girl.

A couple of weeks ago, South Side Roller Derby began looking for skaters, flat-track or banked-track, to participate in an impromptu bout in an effort to keep from losing their venue. Even though I'm extremely out of shape and not getting any younger, I still try to maintain my free agent status by making a showing in any pick-up bout within a 300 mile radius, so naturally I jumped at the chance to try the real thing. I mean, what else put the dream in my heart if it wasn't old-school, no-holds-barred, banked-track roller derby? How could I pass this up?

South Side welcomed me and one other flat-tracker with open arms. I had made the hour-long drive from my north-side house to the south-side track several months ago for an open practice, and the two of us were there early before the bout to keep from embarrassing ourselves in public. Still I knew this wasn't going to be pretty; I really had no idea how different it was until the first whistle blew. My husband took a couple of pictures on his phone before the game started and I lost any shred of remaining innocence. (If you have half a brain, you can figure out a Catazon literally stands head and shoulders above the rest of the girls.) I haven't been able to find any others, but that might be a good thing, as you will see...

The first half was pretty much a waste for me. I had one good jam where I was able to impede the jammer for at least half the distance of the track if not more, but other than that, I could not get the hang of the angles and the acceleration factors. They put me the jammer star on me close to the end of the half, and I kept getting swallowed up by the pack every time I thought I was out. Damn those angles.

The second half, I was in every pack with one of my team's best skaters, Mojo, and she took me under her wing. We lined up next to each other in every jam, and she encouraged me to do the things I wasn't used to doing after playing by stringent flat-track rules for five years, such as swimming through the pack. I was starting to get pretty good at that, until I tried to take out a pole after getting a hip check to the inside. That speed you pick up going to the inside of the track is such a rush! The knot on my leg happened in the second half also, because I ended up on the floor or on top of other skaters much more than in the first half when I was skating too tentatively. Hey, I could get used to this!

In the end, the pink team was victorious, with or without my bumbling assistance. South Side is having another pick-up bout this Saturday, but my family is trying to make a July 4th tradition with friends at a Galveston beach house (two years in a row is not a tradition yet, but we'll go for more if possible). I highly recommend trying the banked track if you are a skilled flat-tracker. I know "I'll be back" if they'll have me.

Have Job, Will Travel

Today begins a month of extraordinary travel for my job.  Really, once I put it out there, most people, including me, would say, "Oh, that's not so bad."  Then I put it in the context of "I love the organized schedule of my usual life and so does my daughter", and it makes me a little stressed. Thank goodness I will have time to throw in some personal fun (although I should probably take it easier on that since I recently had the good luck to strand myself an hour away from home with a dead battery just because I wanted to be a badass on the banked track too).

Today, I leave for California at 6:45 p.m. CDT.  Tomorrow, I work for at least twelve and a half hours, which includes a presentation on a subject that gives me indigestion and an evening meeting with Asia Pac that makes my eyes feel very droopy.  I return home at 10:00 p.m. CDT on Thursday.  Friday, we camp; Saturday, we jump out of a plane; and Sunday, we return home for Zeigfest!  Woohoo!

Halloween plans are shaping up nicely, including a Ghostland Observatory show that I have been looking forward to since July.  A long-lost friend from Austin will be joining me and my sister, but no word on whether I can get everyone to dress up yet.  The Friday after Halloween, I'm finally going to a University of Houston football game, almost twenty years after I received my bachelor's degree.  Good times!

The next trip to California will be November 7-9.  This one is extra special because the family will also be dealing with the opening weekend of deer season and the only flight I could take back gets me home at 12:30 a.m. CST on November 10.  Why is this the only flight?  I have to give the October 20th presentation on a subject that gives me indigestion to a Houston audience at noon CST on November 10th, after giving a presentation on my wonderful Community of Practice at 2:00 p.m. PST on November 9th.  Loving my job right about now!  May try to throw in a visit to the Renfest the weekend of the 13th, or The Kitten will hate me forever.

Don't worry; I'm not finished yet.  I'm getting the 36 hours of professional development I need to complete my annual goals at a conference in Washington, DC, November 16-18.  At least I get to see The Yankee on that trip and hopefully come home in one piece.  Last time we partied in DC, I danced on a bar.  Shocking, I know.  I think I lost those pictures when my computer died this summer; well, it was either those or the videos from Key West.  It's a good thing the proof of either is hard to find.

And that, my friends, is my upcoming month of extraordinary travel for my job.  When I get home on November 19th or 20th (haven't decided yet), I'll have already started on ten extraordinary days of no work at all.  Could be worse, y'all, could be worse.

Yet Another Weekend Full of Wine

This past weekend, I attended the Gruene Music & Wine Fest.  Although I've been to Gruene, a quaint little town on the Guadalupe River snuggled up next to New Braunfels, many times, this was the first time I had the opportunity to attend the wine fest. I highly recommend a visit to Gruene any time of the year, but this was an especially enjoyable weekend, as you will see.

My sister and I took off about 10 a.m. on Friday with her family's pop-up trailer in tow.  I, of course, made her stop at Buc-ee's in Luling even though she was very nervous pulling the pop-up around.  Thankfully, they expanded the parking lot recently, and she had no problem getting in and out of there.  Things were not as easy when we arrived at the campground about an hour later.

A sign at the campground informed us that we could pick any site except for those marked reserved.  My sister was looking for one in particular.  When we got to 100, a reserved sign was sitting on the table so we continued driving and quickly noticed that there were no more campsites with hook-ups past 100.  Trying to turn a camper around with a cliff on one side and the river on the other is not easy, and about halfway through the task, someone starts screaming about how they are going to pee on themselves from laughing about it.  No, it wasn't me, but when my sister brought it up, well yeah, then I started laughing so hard I almost peed too.  It took us a while to turn back around and stake a claim on campsite 99, but luckily, there was a guy who witnessed us doubled over in holding back pee mode and helped us back the damn trailer into the site.  And who cares?

We were at the river!  Later that night, my sister got really trashed and tried to climb through a fence when a gate was two feet to her left, but you really had to be there to appreciate that.

You might have noticed that I started this post in a very mature tone, but it has quickly gone south.  Ok, at least I tried.

Saturday at the wine fest was kick-ass.  A good friend had joined us by now, and we quickly turned into the trio of women who caused a stir. That's my sister in the headdress.

And that's our friend in the Groucho Marx getup.

I have no idea how I became the normal one this weekend.

The tastings included wine from none other than Miranda Lambert's own line and an award-winner from the podunk town I couldn't wait to leave.  The picture directly above was taken in Gruene Hall where we saw the cutest little fiddle-player who we all wanted to sample.  Meow...

One thing I realized from this weekend was that I should be the normal one more often and take amazing pictures to remember everything.  I'm sure I'll feel more like myself by next weekend.

My Weekend in Wine Country

The Best Meal of My Life

Originally uploaded by Catazon.

This past weekend, I spent two and a half days in the Russian River Valley of California. Friday afternoon, we arrived at the Mediterranean villa where we would spend the weekend and found it secluded at the top of a very steep hill and complete with a heated pool. Luxurious, no? Then, we made it into town for our 5:30 p.m. reservation at a two-Michelin star restaurant. After canapés and champagne, we chose between an eight-course or five-course meal, and of course, the wine pairing was optional. So if you know me, you know I didn't hold anything back. I even added the black truffle to the chicken course for an additional $12 or something like that. When you are spending that much money on dinner, you don't worry about the price of the black truffle addition. (You do worry about the fact that, for your daughter's upcoming birthday, you will need to get creative about what we are serving the guests, and I mean creative in the Cousin Eddie sort of way.) I can't pick a favorite course, but my favorite part of the night was when the waiter said, "And for your first dessert..." Aaaawww, yeah! (Already working on the redneck thing.)

On Saturday, we hired a driver to cater to our every whim for six hours of wine tastings. If you have never been to wine country or at least the Russian River Valley, a driver is a must. The road on which the seven or eight wineries we visited sit is extremely narrow and winding. After seven or eight (I really can't remember which) wine tastings, you do not want to be driving this road to the top of the hill where your heated pool and Mediterranean villa await.

I do remember my favorite winery of the day. It was a quaint little place that could barely hold us five crazy women. Their wines are only available on site, and I brought home a wonderful Voignier. This sweet guy guards the door of Porter Creek:



And this Texas girl who does not drink wine cannot wait to go back and visit him.

You Just Know Something's Going to Go Horribly Wrong

To celebrate the big 4-0, my best friend and I decided way back in January that we should have a joint birthday party this year. Our birthdays are exactly four months apart, so we chose late June, right in between each of our big days, for the best time to have the shindig. Since it's summertime and parties, weddings, and the like abound, we sent the invites in early June to get the best response. Then I waited patiently for something to go wrong.

Two weeks ago, we hired a friend to paint our living room, dining room, and atrium. It was taking longer than he expected, and he planned on finishing up the Tuesday before the party. Sure, no problem, plenty of time to get things back into place.

Tuesday, I was picked to serve on a jury, expected to last through Friday. Well, that's just great. I was counting on using Friday, my beautiful 9/80 Friday, to get my house in order and spend some time with my best friend before the party. Still, no problem, we can do this.

Friday, our deep-freeze packed full of processed deer meat and one lovely deer head stopped working. I didn't notice it when I left the house at 7:30 a.m., but I sure as hell noticed it when I pulled in at 5:30 p.m. Gah, the stench! But what could I do? I still needed to pick up The Kitten at Gramma's, and The Tomcat was still in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. (Actually what I think happened is my wonderful husband left the door open when he took ice out for his deep sea fishing trip at 4:00 a.m., but he will never admit that to me.) When he finally got home, the Clorox and Lysol treatment on the freezer and the floor started and lasted all day Saturday. We encouraged people to avoid the garage during the party, and we are still afraid to open the freezer door.

Even with all this conspiring against us, we managed to have a fun-filled party on Saturday night. Only one thing is missing, and one thing in the house is broken...miniscule in the grand scheme of things. And I was able to blame my hangover on a severe sinus attack. That's not wrong at all; that's just right.

What Has The World Come to When I Get Excited about Happy Hour?

This day feels like it lasted for eighteen hours instead of nine, merely because I'm regressing to my late twenties and going to happy hour tonight. Seriously, what has my old age come to if I'm letting a Thursday evening meet-up to consume free appetizers and over-priced drinks with other retired derby friends be the highlight of my week? Seriously, I cannot wait!

In other exciting news, I set the theme for the party I'm hosting in late June and got some evites out last night. This late June date is almost halfway in between my best friend since 7th grade's and my birthdays. We were born exactly four months apart in 1970, a Taurus and a Leo. People actually believe we're having a S&M party, because the theme is "40 is Fabulous with S&M". Her name is Staci; mine is Marie. Things happen when the two of us get together that are beyond your worst S&M nightmare. Be afraid; be very afraid.

My Calendar Runneth Over

The 2009 Show has begun. I spent most of the weekend at Reliant Park...the Membership Dance Friday night, drink inventory on Saturday morning, and the equipment setup from hell on Sunday. After all that, I didn't feel very guilty while celebrating Mardi Gras at Willie's last night...listening to a good band, eating fried pickles, and drinking too many margaritas.

The goal was to get the taxes done before March, but I also promised to buy The Kitten some western jeans for Go Texan Day on Friday. If she's anything like me (and she is), we will visit all the Cavender's in town to find some jeans that fit. Sounds like a fun week, one which will end with my attempt to attend the largest cookoff in the world not only on Saturday night when the main group of friends will be at our regular stomping grounds but Friday as well so I can see and be seen. It all boils down to whether we trust a houseful of cousins alone.

Tomorrow at lunch, the city is staging an event called the Rodeo Roundup. Now that I work downtown, I get to check it out. No work meetings on my schedule yet, so I will most likely disappear for the whole two hours. One of the perks of having a boss half a country away. Then the parade is Saturday morning, and unless The Kitten changes her mind, we will be there, too. I already posted my rodeo work schedule, so I guess that means I'll see everyone in April (unless you read my Facebook and Twitter updates, of course).

You've Got to Laugh a Little...

The Kitten and I spend a lot of time laughing. One of the things we have enjoyed lately is this:



And by enjoy, I mean we walk around acting like chickens. For some reason, it reminds me of when a bunch of crazy people I call friends dared my best friend to put a pickle under her arm, ride a skateboard across the rink at Tradewinds, and scream "I'm a chicken" at the top of her lungs, all at the same time.

Here's to you, Staci, for not giving up on your dream. May the rest of your days be filled with laughter like the kind The Kitten and I share. Someday soon all of us "kids" will act like chickens together.

This may not make sense to anybody but me, but what do you expect from someone who encourages her daugther to emulate tv commercials?

Day of the Dead Can't Come Soon Enough

October has been a CRAZY BUSY month for me.

I began the month by skating in my last derby bout. In the first of three bouts in two days, I was tripped and took it directly on my right knee (the one that already had problems). At least I pushed their jammer all the way to the middle of the infield with three of their blockers on me right before this happened. You can watch the whole bout if you want. Such a shame opponents must resort to cheating to stop me. Still, I can't believe I could get a pad over my knee to skate the other two bouts. Isn't it symbolic, don't you think?



A week or so later, I saw a legend from the front row, thanks to a derby girl who I'm proud to call a friend also. You couldn't ask for a better front (or back, or only two) of your pack. We've been through it all!



Then, I went to the Corral Club Halloween Party, two days before the derby awards party, and wore the same thing to each. Hmm, maybe that's why I went to both alone...it couldn't be because I'm a nasty dancer...no way. (Image is blurred to protect the innocent, or because I had to steal it from Facebook on my BlackBerry...whatever you prefer.)



Last weekend, I acted like a giddy schoolgirl on the front row of another concert, this time with my sister who took some great pictures. I think I'm going to have to fight her for his sweat towel that I practically jumped up on the stage to steal. You can't ignore me, Rick!



And all these things don't even begin to list all the fun I had in October! Tonight, The Kitten will get to show off her costume to the grandparents she invited over for Halloween almost two months ago. Tomorrow, I can start a much more relaxed month. Unless somebody wants to go to the Ren Faire with me?

Good Times Never Seemed So Good

I have front row tickets to the Neil Diamond show tonight, I am splurging on dinner at the Strip House, and I get to share these things with a very good friend to celebrate her birthday and three crazy Brawler seasons together. Just thought I would share with the world how good times really are.

Boom! Goes the Catazon

Catazon Hits Rebel Ann

Originally uploaded by Zeeev.

No Bosse$ were harmed in the making of this photo. In fact, the Boss on her way to the floor claims that this was her favorite moment of the bout.

Ziv! This is one of the most beautiful derby pics I have ever seen, and not just because I'm in it.

There Are More Important Things in Life Than Derby

This weekend, I spent 24 uninterrupted hours with my husband. Saturday night, we went to his 20-year high school reunion. Boring. Let's get to the good stuff.

Sunday, we witnessed Kris Brown's game-winning 57-yard field goal (picture taken by an old friend who I haven't seen in a very long time):



Thanks to my husband's employer, I saw this happen from the front row of Reliant Stadium, very close to the 50-yard line. At one point, I could have reached out and touched the guys that do the funniest commercials ever, Bud Light's Real Men of Genius. Yep, it was a good day. Spending some quality time with my husband before hunting season starts wasn't too bad either.

Working for the Weekend

I'm going to do some other exciting stuff this weekend besides skating in my first bout in ten months on Sunday. For instance, lunch on Saturday will be with about twenty some-odd other people that I have only met online. No need to be alarmed, though, since they are Mama Drama readers and writers. Completely harmless, yet most likely bad influences for tempting me with margaritas the day before a bout. Sounds like I'll fit right in.

Cancer is about to get SMACKed!

I just found out that one of my wonderful derby sisters has cancer. I met Smack Bauer when I attended the Nacogdoches Rollergirls first bout in February. She was HOT...awesome jammer, lots of attitude! Kinda reminds me of someone I know...but I digress.

I'm going to be reading about how she beats this and try to send healing vibes her way. I've got plenty of those to go around now.

I'm Officially (in)Famous!

Jenny at Mama Drama, a big fan of Houston Roller Derby since we set her straight on whether or not roller derby was family-friendly, has featured Catazon in today's post as a plea to the producers of the Amazing Race to pick the roller derby twosome. Be nice and read the whole thing instead of scrolling down to the paragraph about me! Then come back and see what I have to say about the assumptions she has made about three of my possible future endeavors.

Although it is highly possible that I could be a Presidential candidate since I would run as a Libertarian and have considered becoming active in the local party, it would not be pretty once they start dragging the skeletons out of the closet. I'll skip that one to avoid embarrassing my family although it is nearly impossible to embarrass myself (as Jenny said, I did crawl on a pool table in lingerie).

Something as small and sprite as a leprechaun would surely give an Amazon a run for the money. If I was able to outsmart him and he started treating me like Darby O'Gill, I'd kick him to the curb in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, my legacy will be "The One that Broke Stuff", not "The One that Fixed Stuff." I accept the fact that I'm a bull in a china shop. It no longer frustrates me. So I can guarantee I won't be finding cures for anything, and I know not to even try.

Thank you, Jenny. Watch out, Hollywood!

Not That This Will Make a Difference...

since hardly anybody reads this blog anyway...but go to the Hunger Site and click the yellow button. Then go to Jenny at Mama Drama's post about the Hunger Site and leave her a comment saying that you clicked the yellow button. Jenny usually gets a ton of comments on all her posts (because they're HILARIOUS so bookmark her, too!), but she's never gotten a hundred and if she does hit that milestone on the Hunger Site post by Saturday, it'll make for another outrageous post. Thanks!

This is fair warning...

The Yankee just bought her plane ticket to come party with me once I can walk again. Those of you that can keep up (which shouldn't be that hard to do with someone who just got out of a cast), you're welcome to come, too! The itinerary is on my calendar for the weekend of October 20th. Oh, and when I say party, I mean there are no significant others involved in this whatsoever. Honkytonk!

My Favorite Boss!

In honor of our upcoming bout, I would like to demonstrate one of the strategies I use against my worthy opponents...



Taking them out before they even get on the floor.

Love ya, Jule B. Sorry, and can't wait to party, bout, and (please forgive me) beat you AGAIN! Hope you will be ready to go on the 16th...I'll try to keep my skate off your skate until then.

What a Wonderful Weekend!

The Brawlers kicked off the holiday weekend with a pool party at Tawdry's house.  The Kitten (Catazon's spawn) enjoyed it for the first few hours, then I dropped her off with daddy for some bonding with my team.  That move ended up spoiling the rest of the weekend for bonding with my husband (same song, 1 millionth verse), but I didn't let it affect the rest of my extracurricular activities.

It looked like Sunday was going to be tough with the hangover and the nagging, but I was able to put that noise behind me once we got to the farm and Jule B. Sorry and her crew showed up.  Remember...I mentioned earlier that I would be attending my first roller derby bout over the Fourth of July weekend.  I think I enjoyed the halftime band more than the bout (I added a song to my myspace page).  I don't even want to talk about the afterparty, because that kind of fun is indescribable.  Jule and I (along with a few more HRD representers) shut the place down.

The rest of the holiday was pretty much uneventful but most definitely relaxing and a welcome change from the hellhole (a.k.a. library) in which I slave away the days.  I highly recommend a Central Texas getaway every now and then, even if I couldn't stand to live there again.

Bad Week

First, my boss resigned, or was more likely forced to resign.

Then, our office manager informed us that there is no paper in the building and there won't be any until Friday, leaving me to deal with a couple of hundred angry students that pay way too much to go to this school to have to worry about not being able to print their presentation that is due in ten minutes.

Next, I found out that my best friend not only had to put one of her dogs out of misery this week, but two.

So I show up at derby practice Wednesday night expecting to relieve some stress and ended up creating more. While working on blocking skills with one of my teammates, my big boat feet tripped her up, and she came down hard on her knee. It really did not sound or look good, and I've been there before. Did I mention that this is one of our best skaters? We CANNOT lose her before the biggest game of the season. Not wanting to do any further damage, I refrain from engaging anyone else until our head trainer decides he wants a shot at me. I'd usually give him a run for his money, but he took me out this time. Oh, I will remember that.

It's only Thursday...what will happen next?